


Wish You Were Gay

by greenieboy



Category: 9 to 5 the Musical - Parton/Resnick
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 02:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21330826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenieboy/pseuds/greenieboy
Summary: "It is a privilege to call Judy Bernly yours. And any living person would be the luckiest son of a bitch to be loved by Judy.Violet glances to Judy, hard at work, sitting at her desk and typing away, and wishes she had that privilege, to love Judy and be loved by her."
Relationships: Judy Bernly/Violet Newstead
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Wish You Were Gay

**Author's Note:**

> LATE AT NIGHT SADNESS !! trying something sorta new....

Anyone would love Judy, if they knew her the way Violet does. If they knew her lovely smile up close, like Violet, or her bubbly laugh. If they had heard her passionately detailing her favourite books, like Violet heard often enough, and her opinions on the current politics. Surely, no one could resist loving Judy when she says something quick and witty, and her eyes light up like Times Square at night. There wasn’t a soul that could not fall in love when Judy smiled, even for no particular reason, and her nose scrunches up in the most adorable way Violet has ever seen. Anyone would be lucky to love her. It would be a goddamn privilege to be loved by Judy. To see her in the early mornings, sleepy and disheveled, or in the late evening, bare-faced and dewy. To see her, bare and soft, with lusty eyes and parted lips. It is a privilege to call Judy Bernly yours. And any living person would be the luckiest son of a bitch to be loved by Judy.

Violet glances to Judy, hard at work, sitting at her desk and typing away, and wishes she had that privilege, to love Judy and be loved by her. She doesn’t think she’s ever wanted something so terribly before in her entire life. Her heart yearns like a Romantic poet, crying out to Judy, silently begging her for that love. Violet begs her with hugs, and hand holding, and lunches, and soothing hot teas during hectic afternoons, and dinners on the weekends. She begs and begs and _ begs_, but never does she open her mouth and give voice to any desire within her heart. That would be immoral, improper, inappropriate, disgusting. Violet is Judy’s boss, and her best friend, not to mention a _ woman_. The very thought of the hatred, the repulsion that could possibly cross Judy’s face if Violet ever told her, told her of the unholy, sapphic love that burns in her chest every time she sees Judy, crushes Violet into a thousand little pieces, unable to utter a word until she can wipe her eyes of any tears forming and gather herself up again. She wouldn’t dream of saying a peep of the love in her heart.

That doesn’t mean she won’t dream. She sees Judy rise from her chair, strolling to refill her tea mug and stretch her legs in the process. She has nice legs. They’re long, and shapely, and Violet thinks of them tangled with her own, and she recoils at her own mind. The image is lovely, and wholly perfect, but it’s wrong. She shifts in her seat and sighs, wishing she had the resolve to focus on the report in her hands. Her heart is with Judy, however. Resting within Judy’s hands, as she tears open a packet and removes the teabag, pours the hot water and lets it steep. Violet’s heart steeps in Judy’s presence, and it doubles, triples her love. It’s a maddening vicious cycle that destroys her from the inside out, but Violet would rather die than stop it. She is a fool, no doubt. Anyone can see that.

Violet clears her throat and manages to hone in on the report before her once more. She barrels through the words, using all her strength to just finish her monstrous work load. She’s so wrapped up in signing documents and forcing any and all thoughts of her best friend from her mind that, come noon, she’s forgotten that she and Judy had lunch plans. It’s not until Judy knocks on her door, that smile on her lips and that sparkle in her eye, that Violet remembers her intentions of taking Judy to lunch. Dread and longing duel in her chest as she returns the smile and says, “Lunch time, already?”

Judy hums, holding her purse in front of her with both hands. “Time flies when you’re working hard,” she quips as Violet pulls her coat on. Violet chuckles.

“I don’t know if that’s the saying, Judes.”

“Oh, don’t judge me.”

Violet smiles and laughs shortly, collecting her purse. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Judy waits by her door, and they’re soon walking past the rows of emptying desks as people escape to their hour and a half of freedom. Violet sees Judy’s desk again, closed files and neatly stacked papers on top, and she smiled again. Every little thing about Judy makes her fall harder. Isn’t that unfair? Violet wishes, deep down, that she would learn something rotten about her friend, and it would be so foul, it would cause Violet to lose her love for Judy. Except, the worst thing Judy Bernly has ever done in her life is call someone a jerk for cutting her off in traffic. Regardless, there isn’t a thing that could deter her love for Judy now. It’s burrowed snugly in her chest, made a nest from scattered pieces and set up shop.

“Where are we going again?” Judy asks, as they round a corner.

“That deli you like.”

“Didn’t we go there last week?”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“No, I - excuse me - sorry, no, I was just asking.” Judy quickens her pace to avoid being swept out to sea by the New York sidewalk ocean. She reaches out and clasps Violet’s hand. It’s a meaningless gesture, but it makes Violet feel as though she could die right here and be at peace. She doesn’t, though, and holds Judy’s hand tighter as they weave through the endless rush of bodies, all on their way to somewhere. Just like the two of them. “I didn’t know you liked that deli.”

Violet doesn’t. “You like it.”

Judy frowns at her. It’s been a while since Violet has seen one of those frowns directed at her. She shakes her head, though, and smiles, “We’ll go to that pizza place you like tomorrow.” Violet smiles, and her thumb absently strokes Judy’s. It wells her with emotion that Judy hasn’t let go yet. The contact makes Violet soar. They continue on to the deli. They stand in line together, hands still clasped, and Violet manages to convince Judy to let her pay for their meals. No doubt Judy will demand to pay tomorrow at lunch. Not that Violet is going to let her, but the sentiment will be nice. She may even let Judy cover dessert, if they buy any. She just likes the content face Judy makes when Violet pulls a twenty from her wallet. She doesn’t miss when Judy whispers “thank you” to the man at the register. She’s so damn kind. Violet’s hand twitches a little in Judy’s.

Lunch isn’t different from any other. Judy talks about whatever has decided to take up her focus, and Violet listens while leaning her face on her hand. She could listen to Judy for hours if at all possible. But, of course, Judy would feel bad and ask Violet to talk for a while. And Violet would, naturally. Anything for Judy. She thinks weekends like this, having lunch and talking the hours away, would be her personal little heaven. She sighs at the idea, one of those dreamy sighs she tries to hold in, and Judy catches her eye. She looks almost concerned

“Are you alright, Violet?” Asks Judy, and her hands falls onto Violet’s. God, Violet wants to sob from just that.

Instead, she says, “Never better, Judes. You were saying?” Judy smiles warily but continues on, and Violet can’t help but wish. Wish Judy wasn’t so unattainable. It’s wrong, but she wishes Judy was queer. So that feeling this way didn’t seem so awful. So that she didn’t have to worry about overstepping any boundaries, for fear of the shame, the embarrassment. If Judy were gay, like Violet, then maybe she wouldn’t cry herself to sleep with the knowledge that Judy will never, ever love her back the way she wishes she would. Her heart aches, and Judy catches her eye for the second time.

“Seriously, Violet,” she says, “is something the matter?”

Violet opens her mouth, wondering just how bad it would be if she told Judy that she’s in love with her. It couldn’t be so terrible right? Maybe she does have a chance, a chance at the privilege of Judy’s heart. She could hold Judy’s hand in those private moments, kiss her cheek before work, kiss her lips before bed, slow dance with her in their living room, buy her lunch and dinner, and even breakfast, without having to argue over who pays. She could have it. Or, she could lose Judy. Lose the best person she has ever meet in her forty-two years of life. Watch as Judy becomes disgusted by just how vile Violet is for loving another woman. Listen as Judy spews malicious words directed at her. Allow Judy to drift away, even quit working at Consolidated, never see her again for the rest of her natural life. The thought makes Violet nauseous.

So she says, “Eveything’s fine, Judy.” Judy frowns again, and Violet smiles and squeezes her hand. “I promise.” Judy nods, but she’s gripping Violet’s hand so tightly, Violet has lost feeling in it. She watches as Judy, with her lower lip drawn between her teeth, casts a side glance to the counter, no longer occupied by anyone. Then, in the blink of an eye, maybe faster, she leans in and kisses Violet’s cheek, just at the corner of her mouth. Violet can feel the world around collapse, and the floor underneath her feet is going to disappear sooner rather than later. But she smiles and wilts into the contact, and she lets her other hand find Judy’s free hand. Her smile spreads, and it becomes a grin faster than she can stop it. “Everything is just peachy. Never better.” And Judy smiles, and her nose scrunches up, in the way that Violet just adores. And it warms her chest like it always does, but this time it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a kudos or comment if u liked it !!
> 
> find me on tumblr @ bernly


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